Half way 'round the world lays the one thing that you want

Perspective is everything, don't you think.

Say you see a homeless guy on the street dressed in rags with nothing but a cart full of trash and junk from neighboring businesses. What would you think of him? A bum that's so hopped on alcohol and drugs that he can't put his life back together? A veteran that came back home to realized that everyone in his life has moved on without him and all he has left is his insanity? An abused man with disabilities and can't comprehend what has happened to him? A man paying the life of luxury for one lousy mistake? A beautiful man with knowledge you can't imagine and a heart filled with an abundance of love and compassion hidden beneath the filth and scum that hides his greatness from everyone that could use it.

Say you see a young teenage boy and girl sitting on a bench. The girl is crying her eyes out in his chest and he's comforting her with a look of worry on his face. What do you see? A young couple caught in the world of teenage pregnancy wondering what their next step is? The classic boy best friend caring for the one he loves, the girl hurting over the pain of some other boy? A couple experiencing relationship difficulties in their young love? A girl that has lost something meaningful and important to her finding comfort in someone she trusts? A pair of siblings experiencing a period of mourning for the loss of their parents in a recent drunk-driving incident, being the victims?

Say you see a mother and a daughter yelling at each other in the middle of the supermarket in the dairy aisle. What first comes to your mind? Simply the daughter likes whole milk while her self-conscious mother says she needs to watch her weight with 2%, or vice versa? The mother wanting to buy the cheaper yogurt, while the daughter needs another kind for a project? A mother watching her daughter grow up too quickly and finds comfort in the small kid-like antics her daughter throws. A daughter snapping over the realization that she can't live life the way she is, with her drunken mother. A rebellious teenage daughter that simply is throwing her usual fits, although stereotype is...she really wouldn't be with her mother at the supermarket, would she?

Stereotypes are never really true.

More than half the "jocks" in the world aren't literally stupid, they maintain their GPA to play right? They smart enough to work and study hard for their grade, or pull off cheating and copying homework without getting caught.

Half the "geeks" in the world aren't geniuses. They're just more socially challenged than other people. It doesn't mean you'll get every answer right just because you copied their homework, without them knowing of course.

Everyone wears black. You don't have to be emo, gothic, or so I've heard lesbian.

You gotta love that fact that people aren't truly how they seem to be.

Just 'cause a person is nice to you, doesn't mean their nice in general. A man with a woman captive in his basement could be the man that you say thank you to every day because he works hard and smiles and says hello when he delivers your mail.

Just 'cause a person is mean to you, doesn't mean their mean in general. A woman who gives you attitude at a retail-store after 8 hours of working could be tired from the working at the soup kitchen until past midnight the previous night.

Oddly, we know every single statement that I've made but it's still not going to affect our daily lives.

I'm still going to walk by the homeless guy sitting on the corner. I'm still going to think that young boyfriend made his girlfriend cry. I'm still going to think that the angsty teenage girl is yelling at her poor mother for no reason.

I'll still consider the other half of the jocks in the world incompetent. I'll still copy the homework off people that I consider "geniuses". I'll still stare at the young girl dressed in all pure black.

I'll still call the nice person to me, nice, and the mean person to me, mean.

Why is that, I might ask?

I don't know. Some people change, maybe we all can. Change our perspective on life. Change our perspective to become optimistic and shy away from being pessimistic. Change our perspective to become more open instead of tightly closed. Change our perspective so that we don't see if from our limited point of view, but from the many situations that affect everyone every day. I find that close to impossible. Nothing is ever impossible.

Baby, don't forget we haven't lost it all yet

I've thought for a while. Why are human?

Guessing never hurt anybody, probably helped

It's like one of those bad situations that stay a bad situation until you truly look at the big picture. I, a human, stare at the little details and the now and the past. I don't look at the future, which I happen to wish will be longer than my past but not too long for I don't long to live that long. Long is a very used word in that sentence, possibly overused. I, a human, wish not to look at the big picture for it will shy me away from the tiny details and past and present that I'm purely dedicated to focus on. What if I looked at the big picture? Would that mean I've seen the light? Would it mean that I've had my peace of mind? Or would it mean that I was so tired of just sitting here waiting for something to happen and my last resort was the hushed away scenery of what could be? I could be optimistic and think it's for the better and that my down-years are over, but what if it's not? What if it continues to decline because it's supposed to be that way. What if I look and see the sad truth that my fall isn't over yet and that I'll have to wait for my triumph, my little safety zone in which I can finally say that life is alllll good. I could be optimistic and see that it's my choice to lift my low spirits, or is it all waiting. Waiting on whatever to come by, destiny. People choose their destinies, I know that for fact. It was my choice to sit at the computer instead of study for a quiz I could possibly fail due to lack of my knowledge of the material. It was her choice to lay there and put aside the small voice in her head saying no. It was his choice to look away because it wasn't worth it. It was hers, it was his, it was mines. Are they excuses? The tone makes the sentence what it is, am I right? A complaint, an epiphany, or a simple statement made just because. Life's questions can't be answered in one simple yes or no. They can't even be answered, simple is the least of which don't apply. So why am I asking so many questions? Wondering and worrying about what was, is, and is to come? I am human, and He is God. I don't know what He is thinking. Why can't I just assume everything will be ohkay. Why can't I have faith and just trust. Is it so hard to trust? I can trust myself to make stupid decisions. Why can't I trust Him to give me advice in troubles I can't handle and I completely admit that I believe. I don't have to see to believe. You don't have to see to believe. Yet I'm sitting here with the back side of my thought gnawing at me telling me vicious fears of which I don't like to tend to. They're important, of course. So important in fact that I've pushed it aside so much that it's like an overfilled ziploc of frosting. Sooner or later it'll ooze and all I have left is to clean it up, throw it out, and never look at is again. So why do I have to wait until it oozes out? Is it 'cause there's no mess yet? Why clean up something that hasn't created a mess? Or is 'cause it has creating a mess and I just haven't seen it yet. The little hole on the side of the bag facing the table. The frosting slowly seeping out, beyond your knowledge. Maybe, just maybe.

Damn Straight

Yeah fool. Like thas' not gna offend anybody dude.











-Wonderful World-














I'll give it one more month. If it's still acting up, I end up cleaning up another joke lie. Doctor's again, damn. I'm freaked. Friggin' right I'm freaked. That stupid Indian guy better have a solution other than inserting some dumbass camera.

I'm Not Who I Was

I wna run! I'm tired of the treadmill. I wna go to the track and get my ass moving. I feel like a lazy slob today. Argh.

Hawaiian Punch

Bitch may have no intentions, but I don't give a sht. Back up.

Anytime

I love that song, it's friggin' awesome. OMG! Friggin' Karney man. Because I loves him so, I had to wake up early just to make damn cookies. Fuh' my life. Haha, I'm kidding. I just took my final for Computer Graphic Design. I better have aced that sht, or else I'ma be pissed. I need to start writing life journals. My soul is crumbling as I type. I'm good. GOOD. I swear upon my messy hair that I'm fine. Haha. I was listening to Someday by Nina. I was like damn, I haven't heard this song in forever and stuff 'cause I was like listening to my songs randomly.

It's hecka warm today, and it's January, the middle of winter. My gosh be damn, the weather is so moody. It's like PMSing or something 'cause it doesn't know how to be calm and steady. I like the warmth, but for crying out loud, it's higher than 70 degrees in the Bay Area. We're having a dry spell for like two weeks, and according the weather woman on Channel 5, we need rain.

I need to repaint my nails. They're hecka chipping, but I have no time to paint my nails. Oh welllers. Hershey is the sexiest dog ever. He's like an actual BOY! Like I pet him on his head and he like moves my hand to rub his tummy. Makes me follow his pleasure. Haha. Wow, I don't think I can get any more bored. I uploaded My Sassy Girl onto my iPod and I'm so pissed! The audio is like 5 seconds off. Now I needa go find a better version 'cause I think I deleted it. Or...I can always reboot my recycling bin on the computer. That'd work. Smart smart.

Wow, we have like 40 mintues left in this class. Complete Bs. I really have nothing to do. I watched like everything on my iPod except for... Lady and the Tramp. But I'll just watch that another day. I'll study the last 20 minutes of class 'cause I don't wna study now. If I had that tiny little Bible that Pastor Nate gave us over last summer, I would try write a life journal. But no tengo a Bible. I don't think it'd be smart to bring a Bible to a public school. I think thas' plain stupid actually. Haha.

Yeah you know what this is. You granted all my wishes. And damn I'm gon miss it if we fade away. I wonder what Thi and Ryan are doing. I wonder what Asia is doing. She has Spanish righ' now. Either she's still taking her test or she's done and wondering what to do. She could actually be sleeping. Man, I have orals for Spanish on Friday. God bless me. PLEASE.

My hands hecka smell like frosting. Yummy frosting. Keke. Well, this blog is getting pretty boring 'cause I don't know what else to talk about.

Sht, I needa go piss again for like the 3rd time in 2 hours. I swear I have the weakest bladder evvvverrrrrrr.

Roses and Butterflies

Haha! I just saw the most giggling thing. I would say hilarious, but I say that too much. I wonder how it'd be like to live in the olden days and talk properly, dress up every day, wehre those no breathable tie thingys, corsets, thas' what it was. So today I remember to bring my gum, but we had no more water! I dislike Computer Graphic Design. My teacher is a dumbass. Lame and cheap dammit. Update this later.

World Goes 'Round

When one thing turns out like fuck, another rises to the sky. Things gets taken and given constantly.

Sht I needa do:

1. Get a 2009 calendar.
2. Rearrange (mostly clean) my room.
3. Get some jackkets/sweaters, like f'real man.
4. Make my mommy get that converter.
5. Write LJ's more frequently.
6. Schedule that doctor's app. (as the days pass, the more it become necessary -_-)
7. Unprocrastinate my personality.
8. Finish off the semester WELL.
9. Make some banana pancakes. (Shtttt, I haven't had those in fo'evah)
10. Learn the lyrics to Lovesick Mistake.

Babe, it's been a long road. You've been let go.

Damn, I just accidentally deleted a few of my blog posts. Perfection. -_-

Pearberry

smells good. So does Strawberry Daquiri

Ohkay, first off. OMFG, that 'itch needs to find her own way. Not my way. Her own way. Ughhh. Drives me nuts sometimes. Tell her to go bite me. Gawd.

I saw M today. I like come out of math class and Asia's like freaking running towards me to supposedly "warn" me. And like her and Kenny stare at me. I'm like GEEZ. I'm fine. It's not like I'm gna have a panic attack or something. Although they most likely don't believe me, I'm fine. Asia like shoos me away. Bad timing that girl has, I swear. Well, there the person is. I don't see her at first though! Haha. I'm like, O_o. Who's that next to D? And I was like... OH! M! My bad. -_- Haha. &like D gives me this face, like O_o <--that yeah. With the looking back to M then me, then yeah. I liked her jacket. Asia said she had a nice shirt on, but I wasn't really paying attention. I surprise myself. It's been hella long and I'm proud that I've recovered from that pile of a mess I was like what was it? 4 months? 3 months? ago. Cuhhhrazy. Haha.

Wow, she was right...I do have soft skin. Maybe it does run in our family. Interesting. Either that or it's the Aveeno. Ohmygawd, my face is hella clearing up. It's like I'm a little kid eating a chocolate bar for the first time ever! I swear, it's like exactly that feeling. I've been through sht. Haha.

My hands are heckka cold. It's currently 56 degrees. What a shame. I want ice cream, yet it's cold. But f'real. It's coffee and vanilla ice cream! There's coffee and vanilla ice cream waiting in my ice box just to be eaten by my overweight sister! I should eat it. Before I run, right? Smart, yes? But then, if I run. I'ma be hot. Ice cream would be nice. Ahh, I eat in a bit.

I have stuff to do. Update this latterrrr.

Twadget

is my new best friend. Dude, I had a facebook for over a year, and it has barely been used. I wonder what happened to my Xanga. I'm gna keep up with it this year. I'm actually gna try to get into shape, 'cause where I'm at righ' now is bullshit. Haha. Starting out with a mile every other day and 5 sets of 20 double crunches and 10 pushups. It's low, I know, but it's a start. Then after a couple weeks, step it up. Then probably increase it to every day. Probably not gna do much, but it'll increase my drive for keeping my commitments. Haha. The running is the most important part for me. I haven't done that in a while, and I had no motivation before. Now, idk. No more not eating, that leads to water retention. The more your work out, the more you're supposed to eat blah blah blah. Sweets also increase water retention. My mom was like, are you running? I was like, uhh durrr! She was like no wonder the boooming sounds so loud. I was like. -_- Evil lady.

Well, I finished the Philippines pictures today. Found that missing index that I was looking for last summer for like 30 whole minutes. It's not in specific order and it's a mess, but it's something that I'll have to accept. I spent so many hours on that sht, just tryna make it perfect. I was such a white baby. Haha. Such a fat cutie pie in a fluffy pink dress, man oh man. I love those pictures. One of 'em is on my wall. Keke.

Dude I was like playing the Ds and I hella fell asleep. I kept on waking up just to stare at the clock and fall back asleep. I ended up making myself get up after like 2 hours to go shower and sht. I swear, I got my mom's personality and my sister got my dad's. I of course am stubborn, easily annoyed, and have a not caring personality like my dad. But thas' all the bad stuff. -_- I really wonder who I look like. People are half half. Some say I look like my mom, while the rest say I look like my dad. My sister it's always, "She's a carbon copy of your dad." Rofl. She's like a white version of my daddy, like f'real. If you're ever cold, get a chubby dog. They just like sleep on your lap and they warm you right up. (x

OMFG. Finals are in two weeks. I never understood why they give us finals like a week after school starts from a 2-week Christmas break. I mean, come on! Who the hell is gna remember anything after mushing about their brain for two weeks from eating, television, and laziness. Geez. And I have hella homework and don't wna do it. I haven't had motivation to do homework in months. It's one of those, "Ehh, oh well I have nothing to do later. I'll just do it them" kinda things. And ends up "then" is like at 12 o'clock midnight. Bs. Argh. Hahaha. I know I know, my fault since it's my responsibility blah blah blah.

Late.

TWODOUBLEZERONINE

Baby, you are so last year.

Checkmark
1. Assisted in changing a life.
2. Made new relationships.
3. Reaccepted Jesus into my heart.
4. Rearranged my room.
5. Finally developed Philippines pictures.
5. Got a new ipod.
6. Got closer to my mom.
7. Renewed my parent's trust.
8. Strengthened relationships.
9. Finally stopped with the every day heavy eyeliner stage.
10. Started good new habits.
11. 4.0
12. Learned more about myself.
13. Spent time with Grandma and Grandpa Camba
14. Learned so much about other people.
15. Had my share of hilarrriouussss times.

Ex
1. Failed at assisting in the change of another life.
2. Lost a few relationships.
3. Rollercoaster Christianity.
4. Messsy room.
5. Broke an ipod.
6. Still far from my dad.
7. Bumpy road in renewal.
8. Weakened a few relationships.
9. Lost my wallet (and everything in it. D:)
10. Started new bad habits.
11. Bad school habits.
12. The fact that I learned more about myself. -_-
13. Too emotional.
14. That fact that I learned more about other people. -_-
15. Had my share of troubled times.